Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Letters to Sweet Pea 18.5 months

Dear Sweet Pea,

I look at you and I still see the 12 month old that was just here. But then I look back at photos and videos and I really see how much you've changed and grown. You've become a full blown toddler.

You're a little bit of a finicky eater. You know what you like, and that's all you really want to eat. You'll try new things, but aren't afraid to spit them out if you don't like them. You're more of a grazer now, rather than a meal eater. You eat 2-3 "meals", and the rest are just little snacks throughout the day. Your favorite food is cheddar cheese, with grapes being a close second. You love all fruit really. You despise meat. We sneak it on you once in a while. You used to really like broccoli, but have lost your taste for it. So we've started mixing it in other foods. 

You still sleep with mommy in her bed. Sometimes you roll away and just sleep next to me, but usually we snuggle all night. And I love it. I also still hold you while you nap. People tell me all the time that you're too big to hold while you nap, but we manage. Some day, you won't want me to hold you. So, I do it while I can. 

Developmentally you have soared, yet again. Your vocabulary has gone through the roof. There are too many words to list, but your favorites are "Hi" and "What's this" on repeat. Your fine motor skills have also improved. We got you a bead maze, and you love it. You also love stacking rings and blocks, especially Mega Blocks. Those really frustrated you at first, but you love them now.

You've been very kissy the past couple weeks. Which I love because, you were on a kissing strike for a really long time. You are the friendliest kid I've ever met. You say "hi" to everyone, and share extremely well. I hope that lasts. 

I love you more than words can say baby girl. You light up our lives. 

Saturday, December 6, 2014

Sleepless nights

I haven't been sleeping at night. I just lay there. We go to bed at 10:30pm every night. We have a ritual. I'm tired. There's no reason I shouldn't be sleeping, except my brain won't turn off. I lay in the dark room listening to Sweet Pea breath for about 4 hours until I finally fall asleep around 2 am. It's torture. Sweet Pea wakes up at 10am, so really that's enough sleep for a normal person, but it's not for me. It never has been. I need a lot of sleep, always have. It's a depression thing I suppose. 

Last night was no different. And tonight is a full moon, so it's going to be even worse. I'm beginning to dread going to bed at night because I know I'm just going to lay there, not sleeping. I use lavender oil every night, and it's not helping. I need to get a defuser, just have it in the air. Add that to my Christmas list. It's 10:23pm, time to go lay in the dark.

Monday, December 1, 2014

Excited! Plus an update

I'm so excited for Christmas this year! Last year we got Sweet Pea a bunch of small, inexpensive things, that ended up being crap. But this year we bought her just a few higher ticket items. We got her a play kitchen!! I'm so excited for this! We also got her a big box of play food to go with the kitchen. Then we got her a baby carriage and a Caillou doll, that cost almost as much as the kitchen. But when we picked it up, Sweet Pea got SO excited!! "What's this? What's this?" I can't wait to give it to her. We also got a few stocking stuffers for her stocking. 

We're getting Sweet Pea's Christmas pictures taken tomorrow, which also happen to be her 18 month pictures. But first we have to go to Target and buy her a pair of dress shoes, because we lost one of her red shoes. (heartbroken) 

We're going to be putting the tree up this week, but leaving ornaments off of it this year, little hands and fragile pieces don't mix. 

We've been taking swim classes with one of her grandmas. Sweet Pea just LOVES it. She loves her baths, but the pool is so much bigger. She splashes and kicks. The joy on her face makes my heart happy. And we get to see my dad and step mom more often.

Sweet Pea is doing amazingly well. She's picking up a few words here and there, but then forgets another. She knows where her: eyes, nose, mouth, ears, head, hair, hands and bellybutton are. She's addicted to her paci. I'm working to get her off of it during the daytime, but it's a struggle. She's been on a kissing strike for a few months, but will give me a handful of them every once in a while, and it melts my heart. I'm one lucky mama.

Thursday, October 30, 2014

17 month update

 17 months. I have a walking, nearly talking 17 month old. Not quite sure how that happened. And the attitude on this child, whew! Let me tell you. Both Mister and I are quite stubborn, so she comes by it honestly.

Her favorite things to say are "hi" and "what's this?" And not just once. She says them about 20 times in a row. Which is ok, because her voice is adorable. And she talks to complete strangers, telling them "hi", in her high pitched, sweet toddler voice.

She stopped sitting still (well duh) for her monthly pictures a couple months ago, so we started taking them at the park. It rains half the year here, more like 3/4 of the year, so it was a bit of a challenge this month and the months to come, but we made it. Sweet Pea had a blast playing in the mud puddles and getting dirty. We support mud and dirt, it's good for the immune system.

We recently got our bathtub fixed, with the help of my dad and step mom, so Sweet Pea has been enjoying real baths and she loves them! We have to mop up the entire bathroom when she's finished, which is fine, it helps us keep it clean. 

We've been cooped up for so many days, Sweet Pea was just SO happy to be outside and able to run and play. We were the only ones at the park, could you imagine? On such a lovely day?

Sweet Pea was on a kissing strike for a couple months, and it was breaking my heart. But over the last couple of days, she's started giving them again! I may have cried. And hugs! She gives hugs, un provoked. And they're the best hugs I've ever had. Melts my heart into a puddle of goo. 

Thursday, October 9, 2014

Why we won't be watching Sprout, until Halloween is over

Yesterday, when Mister and I were trying to get some work done around the house, we put Sweet Pea in the playpen and turned on Sprout, and toddler friendly channel. (We now have to jail her, because she's learned to climb, but can't quite get down).

I was folding laundry, and Mister was washing dishes. All of a sudden, we heard a blood curdling scream. Mister ran into the front room and Sweet Pea was pointing to the TV, screaming. There was a Party City commercial on, for Halloween. He comforted her and she was fine. 

Today, while I was folding diapers, Mister was playing with Sweet Pea with Sprout on in the background. I was in the other room, and I heard her scream again. I ran out to the front, and that damn commercial was running again! The fact that they even play this commercial on a channel aimed at such young children, just blows my mind.

At the very end of the commercial, there is a sugar skull painted lady, that gets close to the camera and hisses. I think that's what scares Sweet Pea the most. It was scaring her so much, that she would panic when any commercial would come on. So, for now, we'll be sticking to onDemand. Or, no TV at all. 

Sunday, October 5, 2014

Keeping it real

Something I don't talk about on this blog, is my mental health. I used to have another blog where I could let it all out, but a little over a year ago some stuff went down, and I got majorly cyber bullied. So, I took it down, and made this one that just focuses on Sweet Pea. 

The fact of the matter is, I have bipolar disorder. Every summer I go manic, and ever fall/winter, I get depressed. The depression started a little early this year. Like, the same day the mania was ending. The mania was also really rough this year, medicine wasn't helping much at all. The whole point to this, why I'm even bothering saying anything, is this is the reason I haven't been blogging. I am currently too overwhelmed to breathe, and all summer I was too fidgety to sit still to write anything out.

We all do the best we can as parents. I am doing the best I can as a mom, wife, daughter and friend. And most days I feel as though I've failed miserably. Sweet Pea watches too much tv, I don't pay enough attention to Mister, I've let my parents down in every way possible, and I'm such a recluse that I can't make a simple play date with my friends and their kids. 

But, I know I'm doing the best that I can with the cards I was dealt. Just keeping it real.

Monday, September 22, 2014

Heartbreak to pure joy in 30 minutes

My mom and I went to the Just Between Friends sale this weekend. We  went in with a plan to buy just a few things for fall, and a few things for winter. I don't want to end up with too many clothes that Sweet Pea doesn't get to wear. First world problems, am I right? Anyway, that was the plan... but they had so many cute things there! 

We got her Christmas dress, for $10! Most everything we got was either red, or pink. Except for two or three items, which were white. And they're all adorable, I can't wait for it to cool off so I can start dressing her up in this stuff lol 

We wash everything used that comes into the house, because you never know. Besides, one of the outfits smelled like cheese. So I threw everything in the wash, straight away. Can you see where I'm going with this? 

I pulled the wash from the machine, and out came my favorite off white sweater, with little pumpkins and bunnies, and red splotches?? Well shit! I was heart broken. I forgot about it when I threw it all in the wash. My mom read to do a vinegar soak.....it didn't work. What were we going to do? It was only $5, but I loved it! 

I threw the rest in the dryer. While the rest was drying, the sweater was still soaking. Mister grilled up some burgers and dogs and we ate. 

I went through all the clothes again, reminiscing about our awesome finds, when I saw it. Another shirt ruined. This time set in by being dried. I took it out to Mister, practically in tears for being so foolish. He took the shirt, and said he could fix it. Boy was he right!

He dyed them both!! They're still wet in these pictures, but aren't they just perfect? I think I love the sweater even more now! I wish I wad gotten before shots, but oh well. Oh! I just love them!!