Saturday, January 25, 2014

Goals and a quick update

I get overwhelmed quite easily, so I have to set small goals for myself. Each night, most nights, while in bed, I lay there trying to fall asleep and I'll set small goals for myself for the next day. They can be as small as plugging in her Leap Frog My Pal, and taking off the Christmas music, just something so I feel like I accomplished something for the day. *Note to self: Take Christmas music off the dog*

I do my best thinking when I'm laying in bed, trying to unwind, and fall asleep. My mind goes a million miles a minute. It's when I come up with all of these great blog post ideas. And then, by morning, they're gone. Every last one of them. So, I've started jotting them down when I think of them. That doesn't mean I have the energy to write them, but I've got ideas! That counts for something...right? Doesn't every blogger come to this point? Where they promise to write later? I promise, I'll be better at this later.

A quick update to hold you over:

Sweet Pea has cut not one, but TWO teeth! They're not the bottom teeth like I had expected. She first cut the Lateral Incisor on the upper left, on January 13, 2014, and then the Lateral Incisor on the upper right on January 22, 2014, a day before her 8 month birthday! 

She's working so hard on crawling, and is super close. She gets up on all fours, and rocks and then lunges forward. It's pretty hilarious. To get around she mainly does this seal hop/crawl, or she'll roll around.

She's got the most hilarious personality I've ever seen in a baby. She's funny, and she knows it. She aims to please and entertain. She's started sticking her tongue, thanks to Great Grandma's teachings. 
She's communicating just a tad too. She says and understands Mama and Dada, and when she's hungry she'll say "nay nay", along side the crying of course.  She's still not very interested in food yet. We'll give her a bite here and there of what we're eating, but other that that, she couldn't care less. Her favorites are potatoes, refried beans, steak *just to suck on*, apples, and that's about it. She's happy with her milkies. 

She's wearing 12 month clothes now! She's not just chunky, but she's long too. We really need to install her new car seat!!

Also, we're switching over cloth diapers, but that's one of the new posts I plan on writing about.

So I guess this did turn into a real post after all. You're welcome. 

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Throwback Thursday

I don't know where the time has gone. I try to hold on to every second of every day, because I know I'll never get them back. Even when I'm exhausted, and in a hurry to try and get her to go to sleep, I try to remind myself that she will only be this little for a very short amount of time, treasure it. 

I miss her being that tiny, but she is so much fun to play with now. She has so much personality, and is a hoot to be around. 

Monday, January 6, 2014

Best. Dream. Ever.

I started to write this yesterday, but noticed all of my pictures were missing...I apparently, had deleted them all! So, instead of writing about my amazing dream, I spent the day adding a lot of pictures, back to the blog.

I had an amazing dream the night before last. I dreamed that I was still pregnant with Sweet Pea, but that I went into natural labor with her. Which I guess, I did. We were all in the hospital, and I remember feeling each contraction. I remember deeply breathing through each one, and thinking how intense they were. But I also remember how amazing it felt. In my dream I pushed Sweet Pea out of my vagina! It was awesome!

I don't have any ill feelings towards my delivery with Sweet Pea, but when I woke up from this dream, I felt incredible! Like it was a healing experience, from something I didn't know I need healing from. I looked forward to going to sleep last night, in hope of having the same dream. It didn't work.

Thursday, January 2, 2014

You are not a failure, and neither am I

This article, by Rachael Martin, is from her blog Finding Joy. A family member posted a link on Facebook today, I read it as Sweet Pea napped. It warmed my heart. I struggle on a daily basis with feeling like a failure as a mother. I've just started trying to spend less time on the computer, and more time with Sweet Pea to help with this issue. I try my best to be the best mom I can be. That's all anyone can do. I want to do all of the fun crafts Pinterest throws in my face. They really do look fun, and I want that special keepsake. What can I say? I'm a sap. But it just becomes so overwhelming. So for now, I'm just trying to be present. Enjoy my little girl while she's still little. 

Dear sweet mom who feels like she's failing:
You're not.
If you and I were sitting in Starbucks and you had your fave drink and I had my Caramel Macchiato, I'd look at you, and I'd tell you the truth — you're not failing.
I know. I'm guessing, you'd wipe away the tears and look up and try to nod your head, but inside, inside well, you'd think that those are nice words but seriously she has no idea. You know why I know? Because I've sat in a coffee shop, across from a friend, a friend who looked me smack in the face and told me that I wasn't failing and that I was doing a great job.
I wanted to tell her about the dishes from yesterday sitting on my counter. And how the pile of storybooks wasn't read again. And that I'm a week behind in laundry. And that I got really really irritated at the mixture of 13 toys all dumped in a pile that two days ago was sorted into 13 labeled boxes. I wondered if she knew that some days, some days I get up and just go through the mom motions without even really finding much joy. It felt like drudgery.
How could she tell me I wasn't failing?
Yet, I wasn't.
Somehow in the mixed-up media world we've got these thoughts of moms being perfect. Society doesn't give us a break. I mean read this article in The New York Times about the pressure on moms to look a certain way after they give birth. And then? Then we're to be ultra creative, crafty, humorous, happy, chipper, up before dawn, to sleep after dark, with our sinks shined, and the laundry folded, and tomorrow's breakfast in the crockpot, with tomorrow's dinner — pulled from our once-a-month cooking — thawing in the fridge, while we work out for 20 minutes on odd days and 40 minutes on even days, and our hair is always done, we're makeup ready, our fridges are stocked, and the craft closet is bursting with ideas for that quick, perfect afternoon art project that we'll place on our recycled wood-and-Mod-Podged-adorned, hand-painted chalkboard.
And, in reality, it's 8 a.m. and we're just getting up. The baby was up all night, or the toddler sick, or, honestly, we were just tired. We get our coffee and flip on Facebook, and our stream is flooded with stuff people have already done (I always tell myself — different time zones), and we're racing to catch up with this never- before-except-for-the-last-hundred-years-perfect, never-feel-like-you're-failing mom ideal that is exhausting.
You know what my friend told me? She told me to slow down. Slow down? How in the world when I felt like I was failing was I to slow down? I had way way way too much to do, and I needed to read that parenting book to work on my attitude and and and ... and. And she told me enough. And that I was a good mom.
You know, you're not failing.
You need to start to see all you do accomplish in a day. All the smiles of encouragement, meals made, clothes changed, books read and more. Just like I wrote before, we make mistakes (ten things moms need to remember). We just need to learn from them. We're out of breath, racing and exhausted but truly not failing. Failing means stopping. Not getting up, not trying, not giving. That's not you.
I want you to stop telling yourself you're failing. Instead, I want you to replace it with "I can do this."
You can do this.
Those soundtrack words and feeling about failing are just feelings. Don't let them define you anymore. If you hear "I'm failing" replace it immediately with "I can do this."
If you were across the table from me, that is what I would tell you.
And, of course, I'd tell you this: Do one thing. I'm going to write and say it again and again and again. Write your list of things you want to do, need to do, and would love to do today with your family. And then, do one thing from each list. If you stumble, brush yourself off, and start again. Don't worry that the neighbor across the street seems to be doing 20 or the Pinterest pin tells you that the perfect home can be achieved in 6 Easy Steps. This is your life — and you — you are the perfect mother for those children. God knew when he blessed those kids to you.
Remember that.
You are a good mom. You matter. You are making a difference.
You can do this. One step, one day, at a time.
From me, one mom in the midst of motherhood, to you.

Sweet Pea giggles

This kid has the best laugh