Friday, December 4, 2015

Letters to Sweet Pea 2.5 years

Dear Sweet Pea,

You are growing into the most amazing, intelligent little girl. You are so caring and compassionate, not to mention beautiful. Your beauty astounds me every day.

You're 36 inches tall now. I know when you read these, that won't seem that big, but you started out less than 20 inches. Your hair is getting so long. We trimmed your bangs when you were 18 months old, but haven't cut it since. It's a beautiful golden light brown, the same shade as your daddy's when he was your age. I think you're going to have dark hair like him.

You've gotten better with eating, but your favorite is still fruit (usually grapes) and cheese. You would definitely eat that multiple times a day. You're liking meat more and more, your favorite being chicken. 

You go to bed very easily, we definitely got lucky there. You still sleep with me in my bed, and we snuggle most of the night. Sometimes, you roll over and use your own pillow. *Spoiler alert* Grandma Mimi is getting you Peppa Pig pillow cases for Christmas!

Before bed, you have your milk and then we brush your teeth, put your PJs on, and then brush your hair. You then pick out a book, lately it's been "Shnow White", we read it and we go to sleep. 

You nap on your own in our bed now! When you wake up, you're usually very upset and run as fast as you can to the front room, asking to watch Caillou. The past few weeks, you've been napping on me a few times here and there. You wake up happier, but I'm not sure you get quality sleep that way.

I don't even know where to begin on your developmental growth. Your vocabulary is....mind boggling! You speak in full sentences, asking questions, making little jokes. You're simply amazing. Daddy and I understand 99% of what you say, others have a little more difficulty. 

You're able to count to 10, sometimes 15!! You recognize your letters, and can almost sing the ABCs. You've known all your shapes for ages, and are able to draw a circle.

We've just started to introduce the potty again, we tried when you were newly 2. You've done 2 tiny tinkles and 1 poop! However, I don't think you're quite ready, so we're going to take a break and try again in a few weeks. You did ask to sit on the potty last night though, and even went!

You are obsessed with Peppa Pig! So much so, that almost all your gifts from Daddy and I are Peppa related. You also love UmiZoomi and Caillou. We are currently watching Peppa on the iPad, after an after nap meltdown. While holding your stuffed piggies, that you got for going potty.

You become a giddy, giggling maniac when we play with your stuffed soccer ball as a family. You're learning to catch, but really enjoy it hitting you in the face. Lately, your favorite thing to play is either making chocolate cake, with your play kitchen, or being a doctor. You were using a shoe string thing as a stethoscope, so we ordered you a toy kit. Your favorite part is listening to the heartbeat. After we've made the beating sound, you say "say hi!" in your adorable high voice. It's my favorite.

You're a strong willed, independent young lady. People are always commenting how polite you are, I of course beam with pride. I'm so proud of you and I'm so lucky to be your mommy. I love you more than words can describe. 

Monday, September 28, 2015

I hope we sleep better tonight

What an amazing blood moon last night, right?! I tried to get a nice picture of it, but you know how cameras are. They make things seem so much further away. 

Thanks to the super moon, Sweet Pea had a horrible time sleeping last night. She was restless all night, and woke several times asking to get up. At about 4am, I got woken up to a very cold, tiny finger, in my EAR!! I was less than thrilled. From then on, she woke up every 30 minutes, asking to get up, until it was actually time to get up. Luckily, I've been feeling better in the morning since going off my medication. 

Today we went to the park. Sweet Pea is really only interested in swinging. She doesn't really like to run around on the play structures at all. In fact, she's a little scared of them. 

We took a walk in the big field, to take some pictures. Sweet Pea wasn't really into it, until she found a pile of dirt. She loves her dirt.

I was becoming a bit overwhelmed with my hair. It was down to my waist, and pretty curly. But it was falling out by the handfuls and leaving bald spots. I finally got tired of it, and decided it was time for a change. SO, Mister shaved m head for me. I was a little uncomfortable with it at first, but I really like it now and I'm thinking I'll keep it for a while. 

Sweet Pea wasn't too sure about it at first. We did it while she was napping, and played a little trick on her when she got up. For a while, she would rub my head and say "it's yucky!" But now she rubs it and says "I yike it mommy". 

My hair has defined me my entire life. It was pretty liberating to just say goodbye to it.

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

Dirty Thirty

This past weekend, I turned 30. I had such a hard time with it. I actually cried the night before. 30 always seemed so old. Like, after 30, you were done. You couldn't have anymore kids. I think that's where a lot of my stress was coming from. I felt like I wasn't allowed to have anymore babies once I turned I realize how silly that is, and I feel better about it. 

We kept the celebrating pretty low key. I wasn't going to do anything, but my parents forced me to lol Friday, Mister, Sweet Pea and I went out to dinner with my mom. I had my first adult beverage in.....I don't know how long. Way before Sweet Pea was here. It was fun, but I'm good for a while. Then Saturday we went out with my dad and step-mom to an old family favorite. 

Whenever I would ask Sweet Pea if she knew my birthday was coming up, she would respond with "I eat cake?" She knows what's up.

So far, 30 isn't so bad. Here's to turning 30 a couple more times ;) 

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Wordy Wednesday

  • Sweet Pea is obsessed with Elmo and Peppa Pig
  • I can't stop looking at newborn things
  • We're going to the beach tomorrow! (Monday)
  • Sweet Pea has learned to say "I'm hungry", and it's the cutest thing ever! She says it even when she's just eaten, but it's still cute!
  • Sweet Pea says "Oh man!" when an app closes on the iPad. It's pretty funny.
  • She had SO much fun at the beach, and fell asleep in the stroller for the first time, ever! 
  • Sweet Pea calls all nuts "coconuts" lol
  • Going swimming tonight! Sweet Pea loves the water!

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Hard parenting day

Yesterday was a hard parenting day. Toddlers are rough. Sweet Pea is well into her twos now, and boy does she let you know it. 

Yesterday was full of yelling, and failed potty training attempts. Sweet Pea's been asking to sit on the potty, so it's not me forcing her to go. But still, I don't think she's quite ready. She can't seem to stay seated on the potty. She likes to get up and explore, diaperless, and we have lots of carpet that I would rather not have pee on. She's peed in it once though, and got a chocolate chip. Then came and peed in the front room, and asked for one -_- I have no problem keeping her in diapers. They're cloth, and I love my cloth. 

You know what else she does? That I'm sure all two year olds do, she doesn't listen to save her life! It drives me up the freaking wall! I'll ask her to do something, and she just looks at me with this blank stare. Or if I ask her to stop doing something, she'll keep doing it, while looking at me with this little smirk. She's definitely two.

But you know what? I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. I have that craving for a small baby again, that newborn squish *sigh*, baby rabies. I've got it bad. Someday. ;) 

Sweet Pea is becoming more and more verbal as the days go on. She now asks us to "cook a piece of cheese" with her. Which means to cook with her play kitchen, with her lol She's a riot. 

She's also a kiss machine. She loves to give kisses. Oh, and Peppa Pig! She's totally obsessed. She LOVES to jump in puddles, just like Peppa. Right now, she's pretending there are puddles all over the living room. 

So, I would say that today is better. I guess that's what it's all about right? There are good days and bad days? No one has good days all of the time. Even if they say they do, they don't. 

I'm back on track with losing weight. I'm only 37 lbs away from not being "morbidly obese" anymore! That's big for me. I got stuck for a while, but am doing well again.  

*Edit: I'm actually only 27 lbs away from not being morbidly obese, but 37 away from my next goal :)

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Wordy Wednesday

  • Sweet Pea's favorite word is "yuck" 
  • She got her first boo boo that required a bandage
  • She's in love with Peppa Pig. Like, ob-sessed. 
  • She calls my dad "Go-Pa"
  • She is completely paci free
  • Her favorite color is green
  • Her favorite letter is W

Monday, July 6, 2015

Microblog Monday: Children's Museum

A few weeks ago, my mom and I took Sweet Pea to the Children's Museum. It was SO much fun that we decided to get a membership. Since then, Mister and I have taken her several times. I'm itching to go back. 

This place is great for children of all ages. They have a pretend grocery store, a water table room, a digging room with little rubber rocks. Face painting, clay work, a giant light and bright, plus so much more! It's all very hands on.

Sweet Pea's favorites are the water tables, and the outside area, which has sand and a water fountain thing, that you can play in. We always bring a change of clothes for her, because she always ends up soaked. 

I highly recommend it for anyone with kids. Find one in your area.

Friday, June 5, 2015

Things Sweet Pea says

Sweet Pea's vocabulary has taken off the last couple of months. But she also says a lot of funny words too, that you wouldn't necessarily understand, unless you heard them all the time. I wanted to write them down, so I don't forget them when she's older and speaks more clearly.

  • Backaba - Pacifier
  • Mozzi - Mozzarella 
  • Bautsy - Barney (sounds a lot like mozzi)
  • Appoo - Apple
  • Appoo joo - Apple juice
  • Appoo saw - Apple sauce
  • Amama - Banana
  • Gree - Grapes
  • Caca cheese - Cottage cheese
  • Wawa - Water
  • Diapoo - Diaper
  • Guck - Duck 
  • How - Cat
  • Boo - Cow (which she's terrified of)
  • Gaa - Grandma/Grandpa
  • Yaoo - Yellow
  • Gee - Green
  • Boo - Blue (not to be confused with boo the cow)
  • Buh - Rabbit/Bunny/Butterfly lol
  • Mote - Remote
  • Ankat - Anklet
  • Hank - Thank you

Sunday, May 31, 2015

Birth Without Fear meetup

Yesterday was an amazing day! I was lucky enough to go to the birth without fear meetup. There were amazing speakers, a harmony circle, vendors, goody bags. Really, I'm not going to do it justice. There's still so much to process. 

Sweet Pea and I stayed the night up at my mom's, because she was going to watch Sweet Pea while I was at the meet up. We went to bed a full 30 minutes early, because we were going to have to get up extra early. Sweet Pea fell right to sleep. She had a full afternoon of playing outside in the dirt, and soaking up the sun, while nomming on some watermelon. We had also gone on a nice walk after dinner. I on the other hand, could. not. sleep. I was just too excited. I even took some melatonin to sleep. Did nothing. 

At about 1 am, I got up and made my lunch for the next day, then took another shower. I tried to go back to sleep, but it didn't work. So at about 3 am, I painted my nails. Seems totally logical. I think I finally fell asleep around 4-4:30 am and had to be up at 7:30 am. A large coffee was in order.

Could you tell I was a little excited?

When I got to the venue, I started looking at the vendors a little and messaged a friend I was going to meet there. Then I saw Jen McLellen from Plus size mommy memoirs!!! I have been dying to hear her speak for ages! I've talked to her a few times online, but I was a little star struck when I saw her. I looked at her and said, "Oh my god. Oh my god." And she just gave me a big hug. We chatted for a minute, and I asked if I could have a picture with her. Seriously, I've gotten so much better at this then 3 years ago, when I met The Bloggess. I couldn't speak then. But now, I can actually carry a conversation. 

Jen was the first speaker, and I was SO freaking excited to hear her speak. I met up with my friend, and met her best friend. While we were waiting for Jen to start, January Harshe, who started Birth Without Fear came up to me. I looked at her, and again said "oh my god" lol I'm a woman of few words. January and I have a little bit of a bumpy past, so I wasn't sure how this day was going to go. I was really, really nervous about it. She knelt down, and said she just wanted to check in, because she knew I had social anxiety. How sweet is that woman? There are over 200 people at this event. Thousands of followers. And she comes up to me to ask me how I'm doing. I of course have the cheesiest grin on my face and said I'm fine. And I was. I made a couple new friends already, and I was surrounded by a group of my peers. 

Jen was amazing. She spoke about how plus size woman are capable to give birth vaginally, just like everyone else. How we should love our bodies, no matter the size. And how we should step out from behind the camera, and be in the pictures with our children. She also gave pointers on how to take the perfect picture. And had us take selfies lol It was worth the wait to see her. 

After Jen was Hermine Hayes-Kline, a lawyer for birth rights. Her title kind of explains what she talked about. She told quite a few horror stories about how women were mistreated in their births. I took this opportunity to go talk to January again, and get a picture with her. 

I wasn't sure if she remembered what had happened in the past or not, but she had. So we talked about it a little, and she confirmed a few things, and made me feel a lot better about the whole situation. She commented on how much weight I had lost, and about how long my hair is. She said it was almost at "mermaid" length lol 

Earth Mama Angel Baby was next. They talked about all the toxins in our body care products, and how Earth Mama didn't like it when she had babies. So they decided to make their own. This is actually when I went to go look at the vendors some more lol 

After Hermine was finished talking, it was time for lunch. My new friends went out for lunch, but I had packed mine. So I stayed behind and ate there. I tried to call my mom and check up on Daphne, but they were napping. 

After lunch we sat at numbered tables. I was lucky enough to get to sit with my new friends! We did a harmony circle. This was life changing. You're sitting at a table with complete strangers, spilling your heart out, and you know that you won't be judged. It was pretty amazing. There were so many tears, tissues were provided ;) and a lot of healing. Motherhood is hard, and with this harmony circle, you find out you're not in it alone. 
After the circle, we got to listen to January's birth stories. All six of them! She had six very different births. Although I enjoyed my c-section, how I was treated leading up to it was not OK. And some of the things she said made me ugly cry. Tissues were needed for that to.

It was great. It was wonderful meeting such strong women.

After January was done speaking, everyone got to meet her and take pictures. I waited in the long line too. I wanted thank her for being so gracious and welcoming. She was very sweet. I explained why I was having so much anxiety, and she apologized and said it's all in the past now. And you know what? It is. The person that caused all of this mess is no longer in either one of our lives.

I can't wait for BWF to come again! This was so fantastic, and I wish I could go back tomorrow! If you have a chance to go, GO!

Thursday, May 28, 2015

Alone time

We have hit sleep bliss in the 'Pea house. Ever since Sweet Pea was born, she has slept in mine or Mister's arms. Mainly mine. Recently, I have been laying down with her at nap time in bed, because she's simply too long to hold in my lap on the couch. I would lay there, while she slept, on my iPad. Getting nothing done. 
Then, I can't remember why, but I decided to get up. I wanted to vacuum without terrifying poor Sweet Pea. I wanted to sit up right. I wanted to clean up a little, because my mom is going to watch Sweet Pea this Saturday for the first time, while I'm at a conference. And she slept. She slept 3 hours. I was able to pick up all the toys, vacuum, put away her birthday presents (there will be a post about her party) and watch a mommy show, all without interruption. OH! And Mister and I were able to eat dinner, alone. Like a date. Without someone yelling for all our food.

Then I got really bold. I wanted more alone time with Mister. I started putting Sweet Pea to bed at our normal bedtime, and then would sneak away to watch a couple shows with Mister, alone. As well as eat popcorn. It. Was. Glorious. Going to bed at nearly 3am, and waking up at 9am is pure hell, but I regret nothing. Alone time is nice. Quiet is nice. A clean front room that I can enjoy, is nice. 

I love Sweet Pea more than anything in the entire world. But I forgot what it was like to be an adult. We're not one of those couples that goes out, ever. We don't need babysitters, ever. Having my mom watch Sweet Pea this Saturday is a huge deal for me lol This will be the first time I've ever left her with anyone but Mister. 

I'm sleep deprived now, but it's worth it. 

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Is it bedtime yet?

Today was a long day. It felt like I was with a 2 year old or something. >.< 

The WIC appointment that we had to go to was right around Sweet Pea's nap time, and that place is the germiest place on earth. So we tried and failed to keep her in our laps. She was happy once she got to play. But then her name was called. That's when it all went to shit. You would have thought the world was ending, the way Sweet Pea screamed, and carried on.

She got weighed, 31 lbs *66%* and measured. I didn't get to see how tall she was, and the lady didn't get a chance to tell me, through all the screaming. But Sweet Pea is healthy, so that's good. 

She then fell asleep on the way home, we stopped an picked up a pizza, which was seriously under topped. And for a person that is counting every calorie, and doesn't get pizza very often....that pisses me off. Sweet Pea opened up her eyes as we pulled into the driveway....only 35 minutes after falling asleep. That's it for her nap. That shouldn't even count as a nap. 

Later, Mister and I played hide and seek with Sweet Pea. Which is the most hilarious game to play with an almost 2 year old. They obviously don't get the idea of hiding, and giggle through the whole thing. At one point, she laid in the middle of the floor. Another time, I tricked her and had her thinking I was hiding in her little tent, and hid behind the couch. Apparently that was against the rules, because she didn't want to play anymore after that. It actually scared her :( Up until then it was a lot of fun. 

We picked up the decorations for Sweet Pea's party today, as well as some of the goodies for the gift bags. Looking forward to the party!

Sunday, May 17, 2015

Turning two

My baby is going to be two in less than a week! How did that happen? This year didn't go nearly as fast as the first year, but it still flew by. 

We're having a rainbow themed party! It's going to be so much fun! I'm hoping to get lots of pictures this year, *I failed last year* and I'll try to post them. 

Sweet Pea is completely oblivious to all the excitement. But, she's learned to say "happy birthday". So, there's that. It sounds more like, hap birt-day. But it's still pretty cute. 

She showed a little interest in learning how to use the potty, but when I took her to it, she completely freaked out. So we'll be waiting a little on that. Which is completely fine with us. 

I have nothing new to report, except.....MY BABY IS TURNING TWO!!!

Sunday, May 10, 2015

Feeling discouraged

I've hit a plateau. I've stopped losing weight, and I've even gained a couple pounds this weekend. This kind of terrifies me. Granted, I think my period is coming, but that only justifies this week. What about the 2 weeks before that? I can't really restrict my calories anymore, or I won't be eating enough. 

I could incorporate more exercise into my life, in fact....that's what I should do. But with a toddler, that's kind of hard to do. I've tried doing videos at home, and she just runs circles around me, trying to give me hugs. Sweet, but difficult to workout around. I've thought about going on fast walks with her in the stroller, but we have a crappy stroller, that isn't really meant for that type of thing. I'm most likely just making excuses. In all reality, I hate exercise. 

My appetite has also increased. I'm trying my hardest to ignore it. I'm eating healthy-ish foods, but remaining under my calories. I suppose if I ate more healthy foods, I could eat more food. The thing is, this is what I've done for 125 lbs, and it's worked. I was hoping it would work for the next 125 lbs. 

What I'm scared of is that, this is it. I'm done losing weight. My body won't let me lose anymore. Or worse, I'll start gaining it back now. Like it's the universes cruel joke. You worked your ass off, but you're still fat, and you're just going to get fatter. What if, you know? 

It's so discouraging to have such a long way to go, and not seeing any of it coming off for 3 weeks. (I just looked back in my log, it's only been about 2 weeks...if that) BUT IT FEELS LIKE FOREVER!

I was losing about 2 lbs a week, so to not lose anything, it's still discouraging. Yeah, I've come a long way, but there's so much further to go.  

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Wordy Wednesday

  • Sweet Pea's favorite animal is a "guck" *Duck* but also loves elephants
  • She loves to talk on the phone, but doesn't understand why you can't see the person, like on the iPad. 
  • She says "hank" for thank you. It's pretty adorable. 
  • She knows the sounds of many animals, but whispers "woof" for dog/puppy.
  • She likes to bring us "buzz" from the floor. *Fuzz* No matter how often I vacuum, there's always buzz! Dang carpet.
  • Sweet Pea gets almost as excited as I do when we get a new diaper in the mail. She loves to throw them around.
  • She just loves Bunjie, our Netherland Dwarf rabbit. She's learning to be very gentle with him, and he's very patient with her.

Saturday, April 25, 2015

Just your average update

Sweet Pea is going to be two in just one short month. I can't believe it. This time last year, I was an emotional mess. Because, I was losing my baby and gaining a toddler. I'm not as emotional this year. I'm more looking forward to what's to come. She's grown and changed so much this year, especially the last couple of months.

Her vocabulary and logic skills have taken off. She's practically gotten her colors down if you ask her to point to them, although she can't quite say them yet. And she can point out her shapes as well. And I've mentioned this on FB a few times, but she's also learning her letters, and can name a few. I know every parent thinks their child is a genius, but I'm really proud of her.

This little miss Sweet Pea skipped her nap for the first time the other day. It was a very long day. You would think that would mean she would go to bed early, and sleep well. Nope! She went to bed at her normal time, and was up every hour. Mama was tired. 

I've been working really hard on losing weight. I'm currently down 124 lbs, and have about 120-130 more to go. It's a bit discouraging thinking I have to lose the same amount all over again. But then I just tell myself, it's not about the destination. It's about the journey. It didn't take a day to gain it (although it 100 of it came on in less than a year, from medication) and it won't come off in a day either. I'm taking one day at a time, and setting small to moderate goals for myself. My current goal? Hit 150 lbs gone. Almost there! 

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Learning and Easter

Sweet Pea has been working on her letters lately. So far she knows 3.5 of them. I say 3.5 because the rest are "E", including E lol She knows K, O, and S. She can say them and point them out when she sees them. K sounds more like "cake", but she's getting there. We're going through flash cards, and she learns from Sesame Street. 

She also makes a lot of animal sounds, her favorite sound right now is an elephant. But her favorite animal is a duck, or a "guck". She also likes to talk about snakes a lot too, and roar like a lion. Half the time we go to change her diaper, she'll end up crawling down the hall roaring. 

Easter was a lot of fun this year. We celebrated with my mom, and Sweet Pea had her first egg hunt. She caught on right away. She loved finding all her "eggies". My mom got her a big stuffed "guck", which she fell in love with. And a few other goodies. We had a great ham dinner, and I ate way too much. Sweet Pea even had a few bites of ham, which is a big deal, because she's not a big meat eater anymore. 

The next day was actual Easter, and Mister hid some eggs around the house before Sweet Pea and I got up. So we had another egg hunt. Sweet Pea was ecstatic. She got a book, playdoh and a diaper cover from our favorite WAHM, Rock-a-bye Booty. Then we ate leftover ham and had a nice quiet day. It was wonderful. I think a new tradition has been started.
I hope everyone else had a nice Easter as well. 

Saturday, March 14, 2015

Letters to Sweet Pea 21.5 months

Dear Sweet Pea,

I almost didn't write this letter, because I didn't think much had changed since you were 18 months. But then, I thought back. I was wrong. Not only physically, but developmentally as well.

You have grown so much. You hair has gotten thicker, and longer. Lord knows you've gotten taller. 

You are a little bit of a picky eater. You despise meat of any kind. Your favorite foods are fruit and cheese. We let you pretty much graze throughout the day, with a main meal of oatmeal for breakfast, and then whatever we're having for dinner. You're very good at trying new foods, but don't always like them. At least you try.

You get very excited at bedtime. You love running down the hallway to mommy, and mommy scares you every night. We brush your teeth, change your diaper put your PJs on and then you pick out a book to read. Then, we wrestle around on the bed for a few minutes before we turn out the lights and settle down. We usually cuddle all night long. I can't fall asleep without you in my arms. 

I still hold you while you nap. Your legs hang off of me, and you take up my whole lap. But, I enjoy it and so do you. As of late, you've been fighting your naps. So we've been taking you to the park to tire you out. You've been enjoying that quite a bit.

You've grown and changed developmentally as well. You have learned new words, so many that I can't list them all. My favorite though, is 'guck'. It's one of your favorite animals. We actually went to feed the gucks last week. *Ducks* You also know where all your major body parts are, but have known those for a while. 

You love other kids, or 'bees' as you call them, more and more each time you see them. You try to keep up with them at the park. And as long as it's not approaching your nap time, you're very good at sharing your toys when we have play dates over at our house. 

You're such a sweetheart. My heart swells with joy when I look at you. I love you so.

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

The beach!

Mister has never been one for traveling, and I don't really like splitting up the family. So when my mom invited us all to the beach, I had my hesitations. But, I eventually said yes. It was just going to be my mom, Sweet Pea and I. It's not easy traveling with children, toddlers especially, so I had my reservations about the trip, but was getting excited. 

The day finally came and we headed off. We purposefully left around Sweet Pea's nap time, so she would sleep a majority of the way there, she usually doesn't like the car. And she did. 

It rained most of the time we were there, but it was a lot of fun. We got to meet up with an old friend from elementary school, that I don't get to see nearly enough, and her two kids. Her daughter is just two weeks older than Sweet Pea. 

We also got to go swimming and shopping. My mom bought lots of clothes for Sweet Pea, for spring and summer. She also bought me some new clothes, because mine aren't fitting anymore. I didn't realize how poorly they fit, until I got into some that actually did. 

Sweet Pea got to eat pancakes twice while on vacation. She devoured them, and then passed out. I gave them to her right before our ride home and she slept a majority of the way home, until she woke up. Coughed, and threw up. We pulled over and I changed her, then we came home. She didn't seem distressed once she was changed, and I was sitting in the backseat with her. 

She was SO happy to be home. She ran up and gave Mister a huge hug and sat in his lap. Then started playing with all of her toys. She danced with her Violet Puppy for about 10 minutes, and wrestled with her Eleanor elephant for the rest of the night. 

We had a wonderful time. Sweet Pea was very well "behaved". She got into things about a million times, but she's a toddler, what can I expect?

 Also, I gained almost 5 lbs.... I just finished losing it, two weeks later.


Saturday, January 31, 2015


As some of you may or may not know, I was adopted right when I was born. I grew up knowing I was adopted. I also grew up knowing my bio mom's first name, but not her last. My mom didn't give me her correct last name until a handful of years ago. 

Growing up, I believed I didn't want to meet my bio mom, because I already had a loving family. But I always had an interest in meeting the siblings I knew I had. I have Googled her off and on throughout the years, finding some not so flattering information, which just solidified me not wanting to meet her. Especially after getting pregnant with Sweet Pea. 

I also grew up knowing that I was the youngest of 4 children, and that one other baby was placed for adoption as well. Well, during one of my Googling expeditions, I found a list of possible relatives, and I went to Facebook. I found a woman that I immediately thought was my sister, because we resembled each other a bit. I have a different father than the rest of my siblings, so I wasn't expecting us to be twins, but it was close. This was all about a year ago.

Then a handful a months ago a friend added me to a Facebook group about cloth diapers and baby wearing. I didn't post much, but would browse and it would show up in my newsfeed once in a while. Well, this possible relative was in this group! I sat and waited for months. I didn't believe it could possibly be the same person. I mean, what are the odds, right? Aw hell, let's be honest. I was chicken shit. It made it all seem a little too real.

Well, a handful of days ago, I messaged the possible relative. It turns out she is not my sister, but my ex sister in law! The good news, she's still on good terms with my brother and had no problems answering all my questions. The bad news? My bio mom passed away, just a little over two weeks ago. I'm very saddened by this. I didn't think I wanted to meet my bio mom, but now that I'll never get the chance, makes me want the chance even more. Wanting what I can't have I suppose. If I had just made contact when I first found the SIL (sister in law), whom by the way is amazing, and I feel like is a long lost sister anyway, I could have had the chance to meet my bio mom.

More good news? The other baby that was put up for adoption already reached out already. She didn't meet our bio mom either, but met our siblings at the memorial service. I got to talk to her yesterday last night! It was pretty awesome.  We both grew up knowing we were adopted, and we both grew up only children. Oh, and we grew up in the same area. Small world. We're now Facebook friends!

I also have another sister, and then the brother that the SIL was married to. I'm thinking of reaching out to him soon. I'm a little nervous about it though. I'm not sure why. I think maybe because he actually grew up with our bio mom? Maybe? I don't know for sure. I've been reassured that he's very nice, and that he's curious about me too. I said he could reach out to me if he wanted, so we'll see. 

I'm not really sure how my family feels about all of this. My mom is excited, and was really sad to hear about my bio mom. But my dad doesn't seem to respond much. I can't tell if he's feeling threatened or what. He doesn't need to feel that way. No one will replace my family. <3 

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Not the best day

Sweet Pea has started refusing her naps! I'm in a panic. She's been awake for nearly 5 hours, and there's no nap in sight. Umm.....naps are my quiet time. My time I just get to browse Facebook, and Instagram. Not have to worry about her climbing on top of the TV stand, and nearly falling off. 

Speaking of.... Today I really need nap time. Sweet Pea has been testing my patience all day, and I haven't been doing very well with gentle parenting. Sweet Pea has been wearing on my last nerve.
We made it to nap time. My cousin called, and Sweet Pea fell asleep as we were talking. Every time she (Sweet Pea) refuses to nap, or fights bed time, I start to panic. What if she never sleeps again?!! Totally rational, I know. I do worry that her naps are beginning to dwindle though. It's too soon for that. She's only about 20 months. She still needs naps. I still need her to nap. 
She woke up a complete crank, and her diaper was leaking. I changed her diaper and gave her a cookie. Mother of the year award goes to.... And I popped dinner in the oven. I tried to give her a healthier snack after, but the cookie ruined that apparently. 

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Slowly shrinking

Christmas went off without a hitch. Daphne was spoiled beyond belief. And we got to spend time with most of the family. I got the last of the Christmas put away last week, and then bought more of it today, haha 

Yesterday, I hit a big milestone in my weight loss. I hit 100 lbs gone! A couple years ago, well actually pushing three years now, I lost 70 lbs. I gained 10 of that back before I got pregnant with Sweet Pea, and then gained it ALL back while pregnant. So I was back to my top weight, to the exact pound. 

In 2010 I was at my biggest. I went to Alaska to see a friend graduate from college. We were walking around doing pub crawls, and I couldn't keep up. My friend was sweet enough to make up a story about me hurting my ankle, so I wouldn't be embarrassed and wouldn't have to continue. I went back to my room, still embarrassed. They knew......they knew. So, this picture is at her graduation. 100 pounds ago.

And this picture was Christmas day, the most recent I could find. So *technically*, I've lost more weight since then lol  

I don't see a big difference, and I've only gone down 1.5 pant sizes, which is a bit discouraging. But the scale doesn't lie, and Mister says he sees it in my back a lot. I have a long way to go, about 150 lbs, but I know I'll get there.....eventually. I lost these 100 lbs in a little over 19 months. I'm only 22 lbs away from my next big goal, which I haven't seen since about 2006. Early 2006. I'm working hard, and it's paying off.