Friday, May 20, 2016

Feeling pride in my home

I didn't use to like the home we live in. I was embarrassed about the stigma behind the kind of place we have, and afraid of what people would say.

I didn't help take care of it, at all. I would maybe vacuum once in a while and do laundry. That was about it. The rest would fall on Mister, and he did what he could. He did all the dishes, and all the cooking.

Recently, I've realized how lucky we are to have this place. It's a roof over all of our heads. It keeps us *mostly* warm in the winter (insulation sucks) and doesn't keep up cool in the summer LOL My mom bought as a heatpump, right after Sweet Pea was born. It helps SO much.

So with the new found gratitude I have for our wonderful home, I've started taking better care of it. I'm feeling some pride in this place.

I'm cleaning more, and more things. I cleaned the horrid fridge last week >.< I'm vacuuming constantly (thanks to Sweet Pea's crumbs) and I've taken over the dishes/kitchen, maybe not all the cooking, but I've been doing a lot more! I'm able to keep up with putting the dishes away, instead of letting them pile up on the drying rack. That shit drives me nuts! I also cleaned our bedroom. You don't even want to know how bad it was. It was SO embarrassing. I wouldn't even let my mom in there.

It wasn't any food or anything gross. However. Sweet Pea's books were on the floor, about 20 of them. Like, in a pile by the bed, so we could easily grab them. I've been wanting to move ALL her books to the bedroom, on a bookshelf, for a while. But before I did, the ants attacked them!! WTF? Books? They were ALL over them. So I started cleaning, and didn't stop until 6 hours later O.O 

I still have to put all the clean laundry away that's been sitting on my chair, for weeks. I also have a couple loads to wash. But that's it. It's done. 

That all started, because I wanted to take Sweet Pea's crib apart. She used it once, and it was still attached to the bed. It kind of snowballed from there. 

I turn up the music, LOUD, and I rock out, while I clean. 

There's something so settling about going to bed, knowing your house is clean. Our place isn't clean now, by any means. We have a hard time keeping up on the grime, but I'm working on that. And it's SO much better than it was. 

The shitty part of all of this? I don't know how long it's going to last. 

Right now I feel great and energized. But with bipolar disorder, your mood can change any time. The cleaning urge has been around for about a month. I hope it stays for good. I actually enjoy cleaning! It's time that I can try to block out everything, and have time to myself. To listen to loud music and get shit done. It just feels good.

Take some pride in your home. No matter what kind of dwelling you have, it's your home. The place where you sleep. It protects your from harsh weather. And right now, it's the only one you've got.